I grew up in Texas in the 80s and 90s when manners ruled the day. As a young Man I was expected to open doors, offer seats, and give right-away and priority to any and all Women i encountered. On the upside it was good because it instilled a sense of humility and respect for the opposite sex. The downside was that it felt self-demeaning. Being a gentleman was an expectation, an obligation thrust upon me without explanation for any value or purpose beyond humility. I complied for the compliments and gratitude that I received, but the optics of the whole thing nibbled at my dignity. 

When applied generically to the whole of society, being a gentleman can feel subservient and lame, but when applied to someone you're romantically interested in it’s an incredible opportunity to establish healthy, dominant energy and to put yourself in the driver seat of her desire. But that requires a shift in perspective. I have to see it for the power-play that it truly is and then bring the proper energy to the experience. When I take my Woman by the hand and lead her across a crowded room – I am claiming her as mine and parading her for all to see. When I open a door for her, she's is entering the room on my terms and time. When the meal we share comes down to the last bite and I insist that she takes it, I am not surrendering the food to her. I am asserting that she indulge in the meal I've provided for us and feel comfortable doing so.

These Old Fashioned manners give me power over her, the experience and the whole environment. I am using these powers for good, of course. It's my aim to demonstrate that I am worthy, capable and suited to be surrendered to. My next goal is to make her feel special, using the spectacles of ritual and gesture to communicate to the watching world the pride I feel in having won her attention and affection. 

In short, being a gentleman should make you feel powerful and sexy. Communicating through these kinds of actions and gestures awakens our primal sexual energy, and can awaken our lover’s primal sexual energy too. Everyone loves to be in the presence of strength and safety. But for the submissive energy it’s more than a flattering gesture, it’s a turn on. As Men it sets us apart quickly. 

So if this type of behavior arouses so many Women, why do so many of us ignore it? Just a theory, but I think it goes back to the mindset I described earlier. Being a gentleman was an expectation. As a society we lost sight of its seductive potential and generations of Men have been raised without anyone passing on the incredible sexual meaning behind these gestures. 

But it goes deeper than that. At one point every Man has probably had to watch on as a Woman they were deeply drawn to, threw herself shamelessly at another bad boy type. Choosing to be a gentleman may have started to appear like a pretty unfuckable way to act in comparison to the douchebags who seemed to demonstrate no respect for women and yet seemed to have tractor beams on their dicks. And you'd be right, sort-of. 

The difference between your manners making you a stud or a doormat lie in the energy and intentions that you bring to your actions. Opening a door for all Women because Mama taught me right, is different than opening a door for a Woman because she is my possession. I invite you to this perspective. I promise you it’s more bad boy than you think. I also invite you to do this for all Women regardless of your relationship to them. It's good for you.

So let’s talk about how to use your chivalry as a tool of seduction. First we have to understand what we’re doing. See the empowerment in your Neodominant actions and adjust your mindset. 

Act like you own it.

Tell yourself. This is my Woman. This is my world. My show. I run it. I protect it. And I indulge in it. 

• This is what submissive energy wants, to feel claimed.

Use the room to demonstrate direction.

• Be assertive but kind to those around you. 
• It’s hot when you can direct people around you to accommodate your submissive’s comfort, even more so if you can remain polite and respectful while doing it.
• Adopt a leader mindset.

Repeat After Me: My chivalry is not submissive. It is dominant.

• When I pull the chair out for her, I am deciding where at my table she will be invited to sit and to share my food
• When I open the door, I am granting her permission to enter the building
• Etc

• Women are always cold- keep a jacket around and offer it
• Keep her hydrated, fed, recognize discomfort and be the one to address it
• Demonstrate that you're mindful of her well-being and safety.
• Get her safely to her door at the end of a date.
• Don’t drive-off until she’s inside.
• Try to stay ahead of her needs, show that you’re thinking about her

Seize opportunities to assert yourself in her honor.

• Waiters are for some reason always serving Me first- this is a good time to kindly ask them to serve the lady at the table first. 

• As Neodominants we always want to be sensitive to our partner's comfort levels. Be mindful to gauge her energy around your gestures to make sure you are not overstepping her submissive limits. 
• Sometimes her protests of your actions or behaviors will be out of modesty. Sometimes they will be to establish boundaries. If she asserts herself more firmly about what you’re doing, respond gracefully and respectfully. And remember just like she is allowed to have this boundary, you can have your boundaries too. Respecting an aggressive feminine stance doesn’t mean you have to continue romantic feelings. If her energy spoils the fun for you, you can always move on to someone that’s a better fit for you.
• And never silence your partner- being a gentlemen should never be used as a way to wall your lover off from society or in service to your own insecurities. This is not just bad manners, it’s abusive and sad. You're better than that.

Give yourself a chance

• The good and bad news is that most women are no longer expecting this type of behavior, so they may get in the the way of your good gestures and deeds
• Use polite assertiveness to direct her into place 
• Hold hands and use this gesture to keep her at your side or just behind. This will buy you the time to open doors, and pull out chairs etc. 
• Have a perspective on paying the bill and have it ready- you are 100% in favor of her independence, and feminist beliefs but you invited her to this date and you would be honored to be allowed to be a gentlemen this time. Most of the time she's going to blush and gush regardless of wether you pay all or half the bill. Sex points scored.

Charm everyone around you

• When you can be assertive but still likable to the people around you, oh mama!
• Only Ramp up the assertiveness, condescension or pull out your asshole card when your submissive is being disrespected or dismissed, but still keep it light. 

Add some heat

• Demand your yes sirs (if you have their submission)
• Firm hands- Pay attention to touch points- hips, back upper and lower, hands
• Think of her hand as her reigns and use it to lead her
• Mind your body language- head up, shoulders back, stay big, but relaxed
• Keep her blushing- Don’t forget to demonstrate adoration- here you go my pet. “Waiter, This incredible Woman would like to see the dessert menu.”

Some sexy habits to get into if you want to keep your GiGi vibing off your masculinity

• Make plans
• Open doors
• Pickup the check
• Drive
• Lead her by the hand across a room
• Look out for her needs (waiter can we get the lady some more water please?)
• Follow “lady’s first” protocol
• Respect others around you

That’s everything I have on being a gentlemen, But of course this is just the tip of the iceberg. Use your Neodominant mindset and intuition to recognize and take advantage of ways to make your babygirl feel valued, understood, claimed and protected. I promise you won’t regret it. 

Mr. Peterschmidt